The 6 Components of Confident Discomfort
Readtime: 5 minutes
You don’t need to conquer imposter syndrome.
You need to master Confident Discomfort.
When you have this, you will turn imposter syndrome into your secret weapon.
Without it, imposter syndrome will own you and restrict you, like it does with most people - even the most senior executives.
In this article, I’ll share the 6 components of Confident Discomfort.
Master these and you will no longer worry about imposter syndrome.
Let’s dive in.
1. Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome comes down to a lack of confidence.
Confidence literally means ‘with trust’. In this context it means that we trust ourselves to do things well.
As we are progressing in our career, we get confidence and trust in ourselves from getting competent at new things.
We only learn these new things when we step outside of our comfort zone.
And here’s the big issue - as long as we are progressing in our career we will keep being put in situations that are out of our comfort zone and we will keep having to learn new things.
We will, by very definition, feel like an imposter as we are not yet competent at all of the things our roles require.
So we will never eliminate that feeling of being an imposter, but we can reframe what we are experiencing in a much more positive way - Confident Discomfort.
2. Confident Discomfort
I came up with the term ‘Confident Discomfort’ to describe what happens at the intersection of doing something uncomfortable and developing the confidence to do it well.
We develop Confident Discomfort every time we put ourselves into uncomfortable situations.
When we are in these situations, we may feel like an imposter, as we are doing something that we are not yet totally confident in.
But, we are building our confidence in being in these uncomfortable situations.
You develop Confident Discomfort when you’re outside of your comfort zone, but you have some confidence that you will be able to deal with the situation.
You’ve mastered Confident Discomfort when you are confident going into uncomfortable situations - you feel the discomfort, but you are confident that you will be able to deal with it.
You have this confidence because you know that, whilst you haven’t been in that specific situation before, you have previously dealt with similar situations well.
We grow our Confident Discomfort with our experience.
3. How uncomfortable should we be?
We want to be out of our comfort zone, to grow our Confident Discomfort, but how much?
Various research has pointed to the need for us to be stretched, but not too much.
For example, two psychologists, Dawna Markova and MJ Ryan, came up with the simple but effective model of Comfort Zones, Stretch Zones and Panic Zones in 2006.
The basic theory behind this model is that personal growth happens in stretch zones, where we are out of our comfort zone, but the situation isn’t so challenging that we panic.
When we’re totally confident that we can deal with the current situation we are in our Comfort Zone.
When we don’t have confidence that we can deal with the current situation, we are in our Panic Zone.
When we have some confidence, but not total confidence, that we can deal with the current situation, we are in our Stretch Zone. The situation needs to be sufficiently challenging, but not overwhelming.
Being in the Stretch Zone generates Confident Discomfort.
4. What will we feel in each zone?
In our Comfort Zone we are stable and secure, but we are also more likely to be complacent or bored. We will feel relaxed.
In our Stretch Zone we are challenged, curious and willing to take a risk, but we will also be uncertain and nervous. We will feel energized.
In our Panic Zone we are stressed, anxious and fearful, and we will also most likely be frustrated or annoyed and are likely to disconnect from the task in hand. We will feel exhausted.
5. How much time should we spend in each zone?
Several studies have concluded that spending some time in our Stretch Zone is good for us, but none have come up with a magic formula for how much time.
A 2013 study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that people who engage in new and challenging activities report higher levels of happiness and well-being, but the authors did not suggest a specific balance between comfort and stretch activities.
Similarly, a 2017 study in the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology found that employees who had a higher sense of challenge at work were less likely to experience burnout, but the researchers did not provide a formula for balancing comfort and stretch tasks.
Most of us are likely to want to spend more time in our Comfort Zone than in our Stretch Zone. It is also inevitable, that we will have limited forays into our Panic Zones.
Ultimately, it depends on our individual goals, preferences, and capabilities. And it will likely change from day to day and week to week.
6. Slay those demons
Every time we successfully navigate one of these uncomfortable situations, we are slaying a demon in Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey.
We get power from the demons that we slay. We build our levels of Confident Discomfort.
When we, the hero in our own story, face and overcome challenges and obstacles, we gain strength, knowledge and experience that we can use in the future.
It is a transformative process that requires us to face our fears.
We gain a sense of mastery, of confidence in ourselves.
We no longer think that we need to conquer imposter syndrome, because we know that when we do feel like an imposter, we are actually conquering demons that will make us stronger, wiser and more resilient. We are growing our Confident Discomfort.
In Summary
Imposter Syndrome will always be with us, if we are progressing in our careers
We can turn negative feelings of imposter syndrome into positive feelings of Confident Discomfort
You’ve mastered Confident Discomfort when you are confident going into uncomfortable situations - you feel the discomfort, but you are confident that you will be able to deal with it
We develop our Confident Discomfort by being in the Stretch Zone
When we’re in the Stretch Zone, and not the Panic Zone, we feel energized by challenging situations
We should put ourselves in the Stretch Zone as often as feels right for us, noting that it will vary day to day, and week to week
Recognise and celebrate your new confidence every time you slay an imposter syndrome demon
Congratulations, you now know how to master Confident Discomfort and stop worrying about imposter syndrome.
I would love to hear your thoughts. Please email me at coaching@mostynwilson.com.
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