How i use meditation to read minds
Readtime: 4 minutes
Meditation helps me to read minds.
Yes, I’m sure there are the other usual benefits like improved focus and reduced stress.
But the real benefit has been a better understanding of other people’s thinking, emotions, and responses.
Here’s how it works for me.
How I meditate
I started meditating in August 2015, using guided sessions on the Headspace app. I liked this as it was easy to start and provided a structured progression. In March 2020 I started using the Balance app, which offered personalised meditations, including some gratitude meditations.
I alternated between timed silent meditations and gratitude meditations on Balance until about a year ago.
Now, I meditate without an app. I breathe in for five counts and out for seven throughout my sessions, whether I’m just in silence or doing some gratitude. This rhythm helps me maintain focus and achieve a deeper state of relaxation. (I think it is also increasing my Heart Rate Variability, but that is for another time!).
I normally meditate for 10 – 15 minutes.
How I do gratitude
When I’m doing gratitude in a meditation, this is what I say to myself:
I am grateful to be happy.
I am grateful to be healthy.
And then one of these two, depending on whether it’s a work day or not:
I am grateful to be motivated and excited about work.
OR
I am grateful to be spending time with [X] today.
(Where sometimes ‘X’ is just myself 😀).
When and where I meditate
I usually meditate in the morning in a sauna. I say ‘usually’ as I’ve done this three days out of five so far this year. And I’m normally doing this right after a workout in the gym.
The gym wakes up my body and mind – as I listen to podcasts or non-fiction books while working out.
Then the transition from physical exertion to a calm state of mind helps prepare me for the day ahead.
Most of the time I’m able to focus on my gratitude or just counting my breaths.
However, if my mind is particularly active – sometimes I get lots of ideas for my business, for example – then I just let those ideas come and I’ll write them down in my phone straight after I get out of the sauna.
Either way, it’s been a beneficial use of time, in addition to the physical benefits of the sauna.
The real benefit of meditation – reading minds
A lot is said about meditation helping you to focus during the rest of the day, and lowering stress levels. I do think I get those benefits, but for me the main benefit has been better emotional intelligence.
I’m not only able to better understand my own thinking and emotions, but those of other people.
Here's how:
Self-Awareness: Meditation helps me to be more aware of my thoughts and feelings as they arise, as that is what I am noticing when I’m actually meditating.
This increased awareness helps me respond to them better…
Better responses: I have always been pretty good at Viktor Frankl’s gap between stimulus and response, ever since I first heard Tony Robbins talk about it around 30 years ago (!). However, my experience has been that meditation makes it seem more natural to pause before you react or respond to something. Just a few seconds in my own head working out whether the response I’m feeling is the response I want to give is very helpful.
I’m also then able to challenge my thoughts or emotions, if they’re not helpful…
Challenge my thoughts and emotions: The pause I’ve just mentioned means I can view the thought or emotion separately from me. It isn’t me, it’s just something I’m thinking or feeling. That enables me to challenge it. For example, if I notice feelings of frustration or anxiety, I literally ask myself "Why am I feeling this way?" and “What else could I feel?”. This helps me to put a much more positive spin on things.
This then helps me to read minds…
Reading minds: As I mentioned at the start, there is a huge benefit in increasing my ability to empathise with others. As I’m more aware of and in control of my own thoughts, feelings, and responses, I have a better view of what others might be thinking or feeling, and why they’ve responded in a particular way. This helped me to deal with tricky situations when I was at KPMG, and it helps me now when I’m coaching senior executives. It also helps me in my personal relationships. For me it’s the biggest benefit of meditating and it is normally not spoken about.
In summary
Meditation helps me to read minds.
An increased understanding of my own thoughts, emotions, and reactions means I can understand those of other people better.
And it also enables me to choose more positive versions for myself.
On a personal note
I only realised when I was on a meditation workshop a few years ago at KPMG that getting distracted, noticing your thoughts / emotions, and then refocusing is kind of the whole point of meditation.
Before then I thought you needed uninterrupted focus.
So focus or get distracted, both are good, as long as when you get distracted you acknowledge your thoughts and emotions before you start to refocus again.
One quote to get you going
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
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