5 Ways to Handle Difficult Colleagues Fast
Readtime: 3.5 minutes
We’ve all been there.
You’re working with someone who seems to make everything harder.
Whether it's a colleague who’s always negative, a boss who micromanages, or a client who never seems satisfied.
Dealing with difficult people can feel draining, and left unchecked, it can impact your performance and well-being.
But it doesn’t have to be like this.
The key is not to change the other person – that’s too difficult – but to change how you handle the situation.
Today, I’ll share strategies that can help you transform these challenges into opportunities for growth and success.
Let’s dive in!
Step 1: Set Clear Boundaries
One of the biggest mistakes we make when dealing with difficult people is letting them control the situation.
If you have a colleague who constantly interrupts or tries to offload their work onto you, it’s important to set clear boundaries.
Be firm, but polite. For example, you could say something like:
"I appreciate your input, but I need to focus on completing my own tasks right now. Let’s discuss this when I’ve finished."
This sends a message that your time is valuable without creating unnecessary conflict.
Setting boundaries early also prevents small issues from escalating into bigger problems.
Step 2: Stay Calm and Composed
I think this is one of the biggest routes to success.
(But, I may be biased as it is typically my default way of operating!).
When we’re stressed or frustrated, it’s easy to let our emotions impact our responses.
But staying calm is essential.
A composed response allows you to maintain control of the situation and steer it in a more productive direction.
If someone criticises your work unfairly, instead of reacting defensively, try saying:
"Thank you, I’d like to understand your feedback better. Please can you let me know what specifically you’d like to see improved?"
This simple question not only shows that you’re open to the feedback, but also forces the other person to focus on facts rather than personal attacks.
It puts you in the driver’s seat of the conversation.
Step 3: Use Empathy to Understand Their Perspective
Sometimes, the root cause of difficult behaviour lies in the other person’s own stress, insecurity, or pressures.
Using empathy can help you understand their motivations and de-escalate tension.
By acknowledging their feelings, you shift the dynamic.
For example, if a team member is being overly critical or controlling, you could respond with:
"It sounds like you’re under a lot of pressure to get this done. Let’s figure out how we can work together to meet the deadline."
This shows that you’re willing to collaborate, rather than push back against their difficult behaviour.
By acknowledging their pressure, you're validating their concerns without agreeing to the behaviour, which often leads them to lower their guard. You can then ask:
"What’s your biggest concern with this project right now?"
or
"Is there something specific you're worried about that I can help with?"
This approach invites them to open up about what's really driving their behaviour – whether it’s time constraints, unclear expectations, or maybe external stressors.
By getting them to share their thoughts, you can better understand their perspective and shift the focus from conflict to problem-solving.
Again, you’re addressing the issue without making it personal.
Step 4: Know When to Stand Your Ground
While boundaries and empathy are important, there will be times when you simply need to stand your ground.
It’s important to pick your battles wisely, but when an issue is affecting your ability to work effectively, don’t hesitate to assert yourself.
If someone keeps undermining your contributions in meetings, for example, calmly but firmly state your point of view:
"I’d like to share my perspective on this. I believe this solution addresses the key challenges we’ve been facing and here’s why…"
This way you’re avoiding confrontation and you’re asserting your value in a professional way.
I also highly recommend revisiting my newsletter on standing up for yourself at work. You’ll find some great strategies to complement today’s newsletter.
Step 5: Focus on the Bigger Picture
Finally, when dealing with a difficult person, always keep your focus on the bigger picture – whether that’s completing a project, maintaining team cohesion, or hitting a deadline.
Letting minor frustrations derail your focus will only harm your own performance.
By keeping your eye on the ultimate goal, you can navigate difficult relationships without losing sight of what really matters.
Doing this, will set you apart as a leader.
In Summary
Congratulations! You now know how to better manage difficult colleagues by:
Setting clear boundaries to protect your time and energy.
Staying calm and using constructive responses.
Using empathy to understand their perspective.
Standing your ground when necessary.
Focusing on the bigger picture to avoid distractions.
On A Personal Note
I’ve worked with my fair share of difficult people over the years.
Early in my career, I used to take things quite personally, which didn’t make me feel great and didn’t help the situation.
But once I started practicing these strategies – especially empathy – I noticed a big shift.
Normally the other person has something else going on that makes them behave in a difficult way. I’ve found that understanding that changes how I interact with them. And it’s also made me feel more in control and less stressed, because I know it’s more about them and less about me.
Give these strategies a try and see how they work for you.
“You can’t change people, but you can change how you deal with them.”
I run highly effective corporate Masterclasses to help companies such as Bupa, KPMG, and Just Group plc:
– Sustain high performance without burning out.
– Use Imposter Syndrome as fuel for growth.
– Build a culture of appreciation.
– Enable brilliant careers.
Book a 20 minute call here to see if they’re right for your team.